Tactics for Distraction: Public Weeping

It's no secret that I am a massive cryer.

But I'm a little unconventoinal at the moments I choose to do so.  The Notebook? No. Tarzan? Yes.

Bizzaro, if you will, I have actually never cried at the end of Phantom or Les Miserables,  but I will go through an entire box of tissues during the ending scene in Homeward Bound.  

I am weaknesses. I need to cry.  That's fine.  

It's good.  

I actually like crying.  It releases me lady feelings and I even feel refreshed after a good cry.

There are other immature things I cry over such as:

"What ifs"

                   What if you died?

                   What if my parents died?

                   What if they're out of Jo-Jos again at Trader Joe's?

Seriously, I'm coming from experience, don't play the what if game with yourself, it's not fun and it will ruin your mascara.

Sometimes I'm not even sure why I'm crying.  It's a lot of little things and I'm crying and crying, and yelping even, and eventually the words come out - "What am I doing with my life?"

This is when crying become not fun and I am seriously ashamed of myself. 

The key is to cry when you need to and don't hold your feelings inside for two long.  After a long day, bad audition, relationship feat or friend insult, I need a good solid cry.  I know I need it. 

If I don't do it now, it's going to come later, at a very humiliating and awkward place and I may or may not be STUCK IN PUBLIC AND BURSTING INTO TEARS.

So here they are, from a worthy and experienced source, tactics to distract others from the fact that you are utterly and miserably crying and you need to get the heck outta there!

1. Look up, 

        the florencent lights or sun is simply making your eyes water

2. Yawn!!! 

        man, didn't you suddenly get really tired? Gotsta go!

3. Think of a joke and start laughing, 

        people tear up when they laugh don't they?

4. Answer your phone

        pretend to get a phone call and walk away to "talk in private"

5. The Quadruple Whammy* 

        Look up, yawn, laugh, then answer your phone call.

        

*Note:  only pull out for the big leagues- for me, it's the reunion of Peter and Shadow.                                                     He wasn't too old, he did make it!

5 Simple Tactics to Distract Others from you pathetically crying in public

Melissa Hoffman

http://survivingmormoncouple.blogspot.com