Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Chocolate & Diet Coke, Round Two

And so, I write a second chapter in the love story I began over one year ago:
A girl and her love for things that are bad for her. In this case "bad" only wines down to diet soda and Godiva, but still, every one has a little wickedness in them, right?

It's been a while, but nothing has changed! Popping open a cold can of Diet Coke on a hot summer morning is a happy feeling I can't fully express! Those commercials seemingly do it justice: open happiness! That's what I'm talking about! (NOT the Taylor Swift version, I would not want to be in a living room with 40 billion kittens with a face like that)
Now this is not an advertisement for my favorite beverage, although I wish a thousand times I got paid to write about this affair- my love for diet coke is always more prevalent when Ivan is away- DC has become a very traditional parting gift in our household. The longer you're gone, the more Diet Coke you need to supply!

Why do I need so much Diet Coke? Well, living life as a child who most always had a roommate, then as a college student who always had a roommate, to a bride of 19 who has slept beside a man for over 6 years, it is a little hard for me to be alone at night, with no one to fall asleep talking to. So, basically getting to sleep is an issue. I am a great sleeper and rarely have trouble sleeping or getting to sleep, but I think when I am alone I don't let myself fully relax and dose off- drinking endless supplies of caffeine is only making it worse.. much worse. At night, I don't let my mind stop working- I can sleep during the day just fine! but when the sun goes away- the scaries come out to play~ahhhh! Anyways, DC has become my routine again- I stay at work for 9 hours or more, filling my tummy with those sweet, sweet bubbles until I forget how tired I am- and every night I toss and turn and pay the price- what is this love I am in, Diet Coke!!??!

My relationship with chocolate had only become more seductive-
Earlier this year, I got into a car accident (I originally typed cat accident, can you imagine? It is like Swift's DC fantasy is my worst nightmare and reason I can't sleep at night!) anyway, a car accident that hurt my back and neck and I would take a bath to soak and relax! I set my iPad up on its little stand and would watch Hulu and just hang out until my back felt better and my fingers turned to raisins- apparently my fingers had anti-pruning agent, or I drank plenty of water while in the tub, but this would take me about the equivalent of 1 Bachelor episode- which, if you don't know is 90 minutes long with out commercials! So much of my freetime in January and February was spent in this spa-like state, and of course to up the ante, I would hit up GODIVA on the way home for a snack while I rewatched every season of the Mindy Project and countless other Hulu programs. Sure, I could be doing something useful, but laziness is just too easy, and truffle after truffle was just too delicious!


Several weeks of this routine and I realized I was getting fat! Laying around for hours is one thing, but laying around in hot water while you're stuffing your face with Scotchmallows and chocolate chip cookie dough is just sad. Well, it's a dream the first 5 times and then it becomes just sad...
So I started "working out" aka: running .5-1 miles and doing "my ab routine" aka: 5 minutes of complaining and 3 minutes of what Ivan tells me to do. I actually got good for a while! I felt much stronger and could do a plank for over a minute! Hoorah, I am making a comeback!

I think the point is, that every relationship needs a little balance.  I wish I was in love with running and kale and chia bars, but I chose Chocolate and Diet Coke instead..
Did running help me out when I got into a cat/car accident in January? No, the Doctor told me to stay away from you!  So, I crawled back to chocolate as per Drs orders!
Do kale smoothies have fun, joyful bubbles when you pour it into a glass? Nope, it has green clumps and strawberry seeds that get stuck in your straw and people giving you weird looks because your cup is full of brown clumpy drink and you have serious stank face!

Remember the way Diet Coke makes you smile every time you hear the bottle or can fizz when it opens? Go back to that, Melissa! Remember, when you had nothing else, not even someone to fall asleep talking to, chocolate and Diet Coke were there.  Sure they give you headaches and you gained 8 pounds, but they love you! You need to love them too!


We made it for this long, why not stick it out, right?
Cheers to you, Best Boyfriends!
Me and Diet Coke on a Romantic Evening Date.


No comments:

Post a Comment