another Sunday

It's safe to say I spend several hours a day on speakerphone or FaceTime with Ivan.  We only been apart for two weeks now and it's getting harder, and Sunday is always the hardest day.

We have always spent Sundays together.  Even when we were dating, one of our first dates was watching a movie together on a Sunday night.  I've always loved Sundays: going to church in the morning, making a big delicious meal, eating way too much, resting and playing games and watching movies together.  

My idea of a great Sunday is one centered around family, good food, fun and relaxation; one where we all feel happy and uplifted from the spirit we feel at church!  Sometimes, however, I spend less time feeling spiritual at church and more time glued to my phone, or worse- comparing myself to others.

I see everyone sitting in the pews with their little families, seemingly perfect with fashionable clothes, smiling faces and matching fishtail braids in their three little girls' hair.  I wonder when that will ever be me.  If that will ever be me.  I have never felt like a failure for not yet having children.  I feel lucky to live the life I have, getting to travel, having a job that everyone wants to talk about, but I also think it's pretty hard to have my life, especially since it's hard to find anyone to relate to.  Everyone seems different, no one seems to know what I'm going through.  I don't see a couple or family in the distance future that I could say "oh, yeah, that could be me!"  I just don't where I'll end up.  When friends or family want to make plans for the next few months, I can't buy a plane ticket because I don't know where I'll be.  I feel an unnecessary amount of pressure when someone asks about my future plans.  It's pathetic.  

My mom made a comment today in church while we were talking about The Creation.  She said she wished she would have worried less, been less concerned and lived life more at peace, because with Heavenly Father, things always work out.

I realize I am wasting my time comparing myself to others.  I'm wasting my time worrying about my future and I am wasting my time thinking about all of this rather than living my life in peace and letting it all work out in God's hands. Because He is the one who knows what I am going through. 

Is that a good lesson to learn on a Sunday or what?

So I finished my movie, I'm on speakerphone with Ivan and I feel a bit more determined to stop worrying about my future.  I'm excited for what the present has in store for me!

Hope everyone has a great day-off tomorrow!

Xo-Melissa