Every One of My Embarrassing Moment involves High Heels

Barbie Pink Nails, 1940’s up-do with one curl on the side, red lipstick, my max & cleo little black dress (that regrettably has a torn seem now) and my Steven Madden black pumps.  

It was all the beginning of a normal night- honestly!  Getting dressed all fancy used to be so fun.  You would take all day perfecting the smallest details of your female self- cuticle removing, toenail polishing, eyebrow plucking, etc. Now it’s just: 9:15? gotta show! You grab the eyelash glue and vamanos! 

We have a beautiful theatre, which is actually, technically a “lounge.”  It doubles as a lecture hall, stage for cooking demonstrations during the day and lowers easily, converting it to a dance floor.  Each show, the stage raises so we can walk straight onstage from the wings. 

Tonight was our group cabaret and it opened like it always does: the band plays some sexy alto sax in Feelin’ Good, and the girls enter, one by one, from the wing off Stage Right.  I am the second girl to enter and the spotlight hits me on an all black stage as I sing “Sun in the sky, you know how I feel.”  Tonight, I must have been really lucky because just as I walked out from the wing, the heel of my Steven Madden pump stepped directly into the gap in the stage where it lowers and raises, and wouldn’t you guess it, it got stuck!  I had however many seconds it takes for Sara to sing, “[…]high, you know I feel,” to ‘think on my feet.’  Would I rather start my solo in a nice squad position pulling my heel out of the hole, as front row patrons look up my dress or should I just ditch the other heel and go barefoot.

Barefoot is was people. 

And guess what!?  Only 1 person noticed!!! 

Of course he made a barefoot and pregnant joke, but I could totally handle it after how bravely I showed the world that I can really think on my toes!  I was embarrassed, sure, I felt really stupid.  I am already the shortest on stage by 3 inches, now add the fact I’m barefoot and everyone has a good 6 inches on me :/  During the next song, I had to run around back, get back to that wing, push the curtain forward so no one would see my hands, and grab that puppy out of the ground before my solo two minutes later- I’m crazy 2013, even after the Katy Perry Takes a Tumble debacle of 2012, You can’t put heels on me and not expect something memorable to happen..