be with the ones who love you

My diet hit an all time low when I themed tonight's dinner around the leftover Velveeta 

we had in the fridge.

The Mac & Cheese was delicious and everyone had seconds.

I used this recipe

except…. gulp… I ADDED 6 extra ounces of Velveeta!!

Who AM I????

Tonight is my 25th day without Ivan.  He is in North Carolina performing at a tiny haunted theatre doing Man of La Mancha and I have been in California with my family and working as an overachieving secretary by day.  All day long I was looking forward to the cheesiness!

Although I am on a day-counting basis with my long distance, I surprisingly have not been very tearful through out the weeks.  This streak took and unexpected end tonight when I sat down for the 

dinner I had excitedly made for everyone.

I just started crying.

It was me, my little sister and my dad and I cried as I said I didn't feel good and wanted to go to my room.

My dad said the sweetest thing.

Alright, but you have to come here and hug me first.

It was so sweet, I didn't even get up, I just cried more and said, "I MISS IVAN!" 

He replied,

We know.  

But when you're sad, you shouldn't go to your room and be alone, 

you need to be around people who love you.

Two months ago, in New York, I got Bed Bugs in my apartment.  I was in such despair and so overcome.  Why would this happen just as Ivan was leaving and I had to be alone?

I had the idea to go spend the length of Ivan's tour with my family in California rather than having to move by myself, or worse, be in an old, bug-ridden apartment.

I was alone in the apartment packing and cleaning and preparing to leave for only 2 weeks, but it felt like forever.  Sleeping on the couch, finishing off the cans of food, at the laundromat washing every item of clothing we had, everything was my personal hell.  I looked to the future and grew excited to spend the remainder of "my alone time" with my family in their home.

Today I feel so lucky and amazingly blessed to have this home to come back to and even more lucky for a sweet, caring family who loves me and takes care of me.

Especially when I am sad.

Everyone deserves to be around loving people.

Especially when you are sad.

Today I also want to say, that YOU have to be the person to allow those people into your life.  You can't hide out in your room, alone, feeling sorry for yourself.

Get out there and go find the people who love you!

Here I go,

M

dear diary,

I stayed up till 1 am the other night looking at other people's lives on Facebook and i went to bed feeling sorry for myself

I also had diarreha

The next day I felt crummy but insisted on going to a musical audition to sing a cheery 60's song I over prepared for only to realize moments before my turn, a sixteen year old girl was singing the same song.  She was a homeschooled junior and I graduated with a musical theatre BFA almost three years ago.  

So here I am, parked in the driveway, feeding my inherit digestive problems with a crunch wrap supreme, crunchy taco and a Baja Blast. It's a number 4 in case you were wondering.

Also diary, I'm not feeling sorry for myself.  I'm laughing at this mixed up world & wondering why things happen the way they do.  

Why does all the nacho cheese end up on one side of the crunch wrap?  Why can't there be a little cheesey goodness in every bite? 

   Last night my mom said i was getting funnier.  I think i'm just getting lazier, sarcastic and more in touch with life. You may as well laugh at it right? Oh well, no one reads these anyway. 

Those douches gave me mild instead of hot sauces.  Life goes on.

reasons to get up in the morning

be it a hard-working husband, squirmy baby, bouncy puppy or grumbly tummy, everyone should have some reason to get up in the morning.

tuesday morning I had none of these.

except a job.
ugh.

i could be late, i guess.  I could go without shower, packed lunch or something to avoid getting out of bed on time, couldn't i?

i lay in bed thinking about my life and how bored i am without seeing my husband everyday.  i just wish i could sleep through the next six weeks until i see him again.

as i lay in bed, thinking, i thought about moving, i thought about new york, i though about my friends and i somehow thought about a certain friend and then i thought about the last thing we did together and that was make MUDDY BUDDIES. and somehow, the idea of getting out of bed to make and eat muddy buddies became the best reason i had to get out of bed and i did so with a smile on.

Thank you mini morning batch of Muddy Buddies

made by melting 1/8 cup. butter, 1/2 cup choc chips and 1/4 cup peanut butter

Adding vanilla, powdered sugar and 4 1/2 cups of Rice Chex.

and i had chocolately cereal and a diet coke for breakfast on the way to work at 9:30

and all was right with the world :)

i even saved some leftovers so i'll have a reason to get up tomorrow morning.

what i did for love.

 part ii: it's 3pm and there are RED VINES in the staff kitchen

An Angel left them there!

if your reason for getting out of bed in the morning involves powdered sugar and a kindergartener's snack, let's be friends please?

Ice Cream & Other Food Groups

I LOVE food!! I like to say I live on the 3 C's: Carbs, Cheese and Chocolate!

I am happy and lucky to have no food allergies and I can pretty much eat anything you put in front of me, see?

Ivan and I LOVE ice cream, and we went to Farrell's Ice Cream Parlor in Sacramento and totally downed "A Pig Troth."

It is 6, 4 oz scoops of ice-cream: 2 chocolate, 1 vanilla, 1 strawberry, 1 mint chocolate chip and 1 chocolate chip cookie dough!

We are winners!!!

 

I also a Baker!

 

So it gives be another excuse to more carbs and chocolate with cream cheese frosting-gotta have full servings of my 3 C's each day!

And being on vacation, includes going out to eat, often:

So we went to Scott's Seafood on the River

And our California favorite:

& Mel's Diner...

plus there was sushi, mexican food, more in n out and everything else I didn't photograph..

Follow my Foodgrams!

The “Beginner” Tourist Series: Restaurants

Restaurants

One of the best things about traveling is eating all kinds of different Food!  At every port, I have my heart set on something delicious and memorable!  And, as a matter of purpose, I always ‘do as the locals do.’  So, if I see a large line of locals waiting at a stand for food, I take a spot and wait.  That’s how I got this interesting Potato Sandwich in Marsala, Sicily for 1.30 Euro. Quite Delicious Actually.. 

Here are a few “signs” I look for in a good restaurant. 

First, it’s always a good sign to see if other people are eating at this restaurant.  In other countries, it is popular for only men to go to restaurants.  I have walked into restaurants or cafes in Morocco, Tunisia or Crete where there are ONLY men.  Not quite sure what that means culturally, but the men are usually just sitting around smoking and drinking coffee.   Be aware, that sitting outside is sitting in the smoking section, and some European’s smoke all during their meal. 

Next, I like to walk through the street of restaurants and see if I can spot anyone else eating and then see what their plate of food looks fresh, and, frankly, good enough to eat!  Also, something typical in other countries is for waiters or even managers to stand outside their restaurants and ‘advertise’ for their restaurant, by showing you a menu and telling you how delicious their food is, etc. When the waiter is too aggressive, I always bypass their restaurant. 

Next, I look for a restaurant with a nice atmosphere and a practically priced menu.  Things differ in European Countries.  Greece is one of the cheapest countries to get a meal and to buy most everything really.  I am falling more and more in love with Greek food. 

The other day, Ivan and I got all this: A Greek Salad: Cucumbers, Tomatoes, Olives, Onions, Green Bell Peppers, Feta and Olive Oil and Oregano. Serves 4 & A Pork Gyro Platter with 8 slices of Pita bread and a large helping of Tsatziki Sauce, for 13.60, with tip only 15 EURO

 

 On the other hand, we once paid 27 EURO for only this plate of Shrimp.

The Greek food was about 3x more food, for almost half the price.  However, both meals were very memorable.  We ate the “Garlic Tiger Prawns” in Funchal, Portugal, one night with friends.  They gave us Garlic Bread and Bottled water, and one of our friends and Ivan started playing the guitar and everyone in the restaurant applauded, so it was quite a night.  There was SO MUCH GARLIC on the shrimp, I loved it and in the end, I thought it was worth it.  BUT, if you’re looking for a meal to fill you up, that wasn’t it. 

In Italy, the cheapest city generally is Naples, because it is more of an industrial port and doesn’t take advantage of tourists. 

Lunch times are always cheaper and you can always get a plain Cheese- or Margarita pizza for much less, sometimes as low as 5 EURO, such as this one, in Pisa, Italy.

The Portion Sizes have surprised me along this trip.  I ordered Fettuccini Alfredo in Monaco for 12 EURO and look at this portion size: 

 

Am I surprised that I finished it all?  Nope!