My testimony

Thank you to this stranger who took my photo at Seven Magic Mountains on my way to California :)

A few weeks ago, I took a video of myself talking in the car and basically telling the camera my testimony. It was focused around the happiness I felt and also receiving answers to prayers. 

It was only hours after the offer on our house was accepted and I was feel so much gratitude but also so much fear for the unknown!  Ivan was 100% confident about our house. He knew everything was right! I was happy and excited, but I did not feel 100%, nor did I know what feeling 100% certain on the house decision would even feel like.  I prayed a lot when we had initially made the offer, asking for some certainty I was expecting! Not only was I expecting certainty, I was expecting to feel more "complete" or more "adult" than before because of this big addition to our lives. 

While after many prayers I felt overall positive about our choice, I did not feel the clarity or completeness I had in mind.  Over the past year, I was unintentionally "inactive" at my church, because I was on the cruise ship for 6 months and did not port on Sundays so there was no way for me to physically be in a church building.  This is not the first time I've been in this predicament but it is the first time I had to do it on my own, without a husband there so we could encourage each other. While I never lost my testimony over the course of 2016, I did not spend the proper time nourishing it in the ways of scripture study, prayer and fasting. Instead, I let it float along with me- I followed the gospel and shared it with others, but failed to enrich my testimony through diligence of work and sacrifice! I felt some emptiness that I thought being a homeowner would fix. It did not. it could not. The only thing that could fix my testimony was to nourish it again. I needed to study MORE, to pray MORE and to FAST (i won't say more, i will just say fast AT ALL, because let's face it, I rarely sacrifice a meal) While I was still reading BoM occasionally and listening to conference talks weekly, I was spending much more time listening to music: musical theatre and it's art.

Musical theatre is an art form that has helped me grow in so many ways. 

I even have a testimony of musical theatre. But I could not use my testimony of musical theatre to replace my testimony of the gospel, I can use them together.

Some of my favorite lyrics of Hamilton are:

I am the one thing in life I can control

 I was the one who needed to build my testimony, not let it float along with me. 

I have a testimony of forgiveness. I believe in fresh starts- every day can be a fresh start!  We don't need to be perfect- we aren't expected to have a perfect track record for scripture study and we don't need to get down on ourselves with he whole week is blank, we just need to TRY and TRY AGAIN!

I have a testimony of families! I know families can be together forever because of temples and living worthy of our temple covenants. I love my family and I feel extra lucky to spend time with them in California this week! I know God loves me and I'm grateful for the lessons I get to learn in this life!

xo, Melissa

Summer Strengths

It is August 14th today which means it has been one month exactly since I have last written on the Blog. There has also been a lot that has happened- keeping me busy, out with my life and off the blog, a nice little summer break if you will.

But today I has a desire to come write on my blog and say a few things that are important to me.

1. I know the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true. 
I don't express this testimony here on my blog very often, even though the title clearly states I am Mormon.  Nowadays, I feel like many people don't know the truth about our church. There are so many mixed messages, entertainment and anti- websites and literature. The only place to find the truth about Mormons is here: LDS.ORG and MORMON.ORG. Ivan and I go to church every Sunday, have callings in our ward we participate in weekly. We say our prayers daily together and separately and do our best to read scriptures and words from out leaders today. We live it. We love it. We love the temple and live worthy to go inside LDS Temples and learn and grow as we do so.

This month I am especially grateful for the blessings of this gospel because my brother just got married and sealed in the temple and my younger sister left to serve an 18 month mission for our church. The experiences bring my family closer, while building my faith and testimony of our Savior.
I know the church is true and I love being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

2. Being Together is Important
I love being with my husband and spending quality time with him.  During the first quarter of the year, we spent apart in a long distance relationship for work.  Now, we are in a two bedroom condo, both working, living a seemingly normal routine and are able to spend time together eating meals, exercising, and still traveling of course.  Our love has grown and I am happy to be with my best friend.  Being with friends and family is also important.  Whenever I am having a rough time, my friends make we forget my troubles and my family makes me feel at home. THIS is where the happiness and joy in my life comes from: my relationships.

3. WORDS are such a powerful gift
I love having the opportunity to write, to express myself and to feel the confidence and joy and the comes from expressing the words of my heart.  Every summer I set lots of goals, many of which go unfinished:
reading books,
having a steady work out routine
reconnect with old friends
go outside more
the list of "things I could feel guilty for not doing" goes on and on.
But somehow, all the guilt is replaced by peace when I read a good quote, or make some of my own.
I know each day is an opportunity to try harder, be better and worry less.

A scripture that describes what I am feeling is ISAIAH CHAPTER 43 VERSES 1-5

1 But now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.

 2 When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.

 3 For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour: I gave Egypt for thy ransom, Ethiopia and Seba for thee.

 4 Since thou wast precious in my sight, thou hast been honourable, and I have loved thee: therefore will I give men for thee, and people for thy life.

 5 Fear not: for I am with thee: I will bring thy seed from the east, and gather thee from the west;

The best parts that stand out to me in these verses are the phrases:

I have called thee by name, Thou art mine. 

I will be with thee. Fear Not.

After so many reasons to be fearful and worried and overwhelmed and tired,
there are infinite reasons to be at PEACE.
This is my reason.
He is my reason.